just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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