There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
