I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
