Sry I called you an 8
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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