I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
