Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
