I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize