I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We don't watch enough power rangers
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
