As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
