Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
