you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
