Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
