I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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