If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
