Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Randomize
