she was so not down for the gang bang
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize