if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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