I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
