Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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