So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
