Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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