Kiss
Puke
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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