So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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