I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
