And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
