i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
