Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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