dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize