piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize