This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
