Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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