The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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