Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize