Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
