he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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