We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
