I murdered the dance floor call the cops
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
