There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
