remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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