You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
