Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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