She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
