He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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