Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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