Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
