So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
