yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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