I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
