Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
