Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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