I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
