Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So. Much. Porn.
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