There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
