Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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