hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
