some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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