Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
