At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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