I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
