Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
