No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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