i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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