wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i think my mom watched the whole time
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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