We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize