anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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